Hello, internet! Remember that time when I was going to post something every week for the summer? Yeah… well… life tip: don’t take 6 credit hours of summer college courses while working full time and trying to hold up a semi functional social life. Anyway… better late than never I suppose.
Okay. Word picture. Imagine you are driving to Chick-fil-a (or really anywhere, but I’m hungry right now so this is the first place that came to mind). You are reaching your destination but first you come to a line of cars waiting at a stop light. Although you cannot wait to get food, you are not too bothered by the minor delay because you’ve got your tunes and you’re spending your time having a solo dance party in your car.
Finally! The light turns green and the long line of cars ahead of you begins to move. As you get closer and closer to your chicken, the light suddenly turns yellow. Your heart begins to pound as you think, “I can make it. I can make it.” Right as you are about to reach that white line, the light turns red and you have to stop.
Real-life application: High school was me being stuck at a red light with all my friends. We knew it wouldn’t last forever so we had dance parties and enjoyed the wait. Then graduation came. That light turned green and we all started moving forward towards our futures!
We started making grown up purchases. Some bought rice cookers and bedding, I bought my first car, it was all very exciting.
My friends are all passing that white line. I have friends moving to California, Florida, Texas, northern Colorado, and Alabama.
Then there’s me. As my friends all make it through the green light, getting closer to their destinations, my light has turned red. I’m staying at the same community college for another year, and then will stay at home and commute to the state school downtown.
Nothing changes for me in the fall. Or in the next four years for that matter.
I am stuck. For four years. I have to wait again. I know this is just me complaining. I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is where God wants me right now. But being stuck is not my favorite thing.
To be honest, the real reason I am not happy about this situation is that I am quite terrified. I am terrified that I am going to get comfortable and complacent. I’m terrified that I’m going to stay stagnate and will still be the same 18 year old sophomore in college when I’m 22.
Deep down I know this is silly. I know that nothing can stay the same for four years, especially since I like to push as many limits as possible. But there are many nights that I go to bed feeling disheartened and impatient.
The other night was one such evening. I was telling God my fears and telling Him as I fell asleep that I do not want to be stuck in the same place for four years.
I was only asleep for about an hour before waking up at 3am being uncomfortably hot despite my open window and my fan.
I drank some water and kicked off my covers, but was still too hot to fall back asleep. Frustrated, I looked out the window, and as I did, the clouds that had been holding in the summer heat opened up, releasing cooling rain onto the street below.
Laying there, listening to the thunder and heavy rain drops overwhelm the night sounds of crickets and infrequent traffic, I finally fell back to sleep.
The next morning during my quiet time I once again begged God not to leave me stagnant for so long. He then reminded me of the night before:
“Did you move at all last night?”
“But you changed, did you not? Your body temperature went from too hot to comfortably cool because of the rain, right?”
“So if I can use external events to simply change your body temperature without you having to move, don’t you think I can use external events to make change in your life without having you move away for college?”
Moral of the story: I will get to experience change, even if I don’t get to go anywhere exciting for the next four years. I won’t stay the same, I will be able to grow up like all my peers moving away for college.
So until the waiting is over, let the solo dance party commence.